Saturday, April 24, 2010

Upland Lemon Festival

The Hooly and Cindy Show is now officially in production. "The what now?" The Hooly and Cindy Show is the internet project Hooly and I are working on in an effort to kill boredom while exploring the jewel that is the I.E.
Adventure number 1: Upland Lemon Festival
Upland is just barely in the Inland Empire, it's too white and wealthy to accurately portray the essence of the I.E., but nonetheless we include it in our show. For boring facts about the city visit the wikipedia page. For more enjoyable opinions I suggest urbandictionary. Here is post number three:
3.Upland, CA21 up, 15 down
1. true, a phenomenally boring city
2. a city much like most suburbia, all the houses look the same and the city's wealth follows a class system, from the streets 6 th through 25th
25th being excessively rich, gaudy, and moronic
6th being dirt poor, and generally where the minorities live
3. the Beverly hills of the Inland empire, and Sanbernardino County, unbenounced that SB and the IE are both shit-heaps full of meth labs and ethnically driven violence
4. the whitest city in all of southern california, a city full of bitchy white women who drive SUV's and believe they understand anything about the world because they never leave their comfort zone of one block
5. a city so boring that the cops break up every single party because they have nothing to do whatsoever
6. calls itself "the city of gracious living" because it is stuck up and, literally, that pretentious
1. Those annoying bro hoes, Aren't they from Upland?
2. That fat-ass white woman, the one on the cell phone drinking starbucks profusely and being rude to everyone; theres an upland woman.
3. God, im so fucking bored, it feels like I'm in Upland, Ca.
So many haters. Truth be told, if I was wealthy and living in the I.E., I'd pick Upland or Rancho for my abode. Does that make me pretentious? The houses along the foothills are gorgeous and I absolutely love the greenery of Euclid Avenue. Alas, I am but an unemployed, community college student, living in my parents home.

There was a general abundance of lemonade and fair booths, but an overall absence of lemon variety. Clearly, the festival is celebrated more out of tradition for the once thriving citrus business that blossomed in our homeland. There isn't much left of that today. Or maybe there is and we are just unaware of it? Perhaps we will do some research.
Regardless of the lack of lemons at the festival, it is still a nice event. It makes suburbia feel a little small town. Walking along main street (9th Street) feels like I'm walking through Stars Hallow on an episode of Gilmore Girls. If only we had the witty banter of Rory and Lorelai to offer to you, our viewers.

note: The first episode had no forethought or preparation, I just knew if we didn't do something soon we'd never do something because our habit of procrastination and laziness would control our inaction. Therefore, enjoy but don't be too critical. Just critical enough that we feel motivated to do another show that is better.

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